I asked someone to be my Mentor and they said “No”.

I have been incredibly fortunate over my career to have had the support of so many in the form of formal and also informal Mentors. Many of these very kind and generous people may not have even known they were acting as a Mentor to me. They have guided and supported me throughout my career and, without question, have played a part in the person I am today. 

I have always felt that it was my job and responsibility to support others in the same way others so generously helped me. We need to share our knowledge and experience with others (good and bad) so that they can learn and grow. It is a privilege if I can help anyone, even if it is in a small way. What is the point of having so much knowledge if you don't share it? 

 As the Founder of The Retail Mentors, I facilitate a voluntary mentoring program and have the absolute privilege of matching Mentees with volunteer Mentors from around the globe. Witnessing the life-changing experience this is for both the Mentee and Mentor is an honour. With the support of a Mentor, people have found new jobs, moved countries for roles that will offer them and their families a new life, grown businesses, launched businesses, and developed goals that they never thought were possible, to name a few. So does Mentoring work? In these instances (of which there are many more), yes. Without question. 

As someone who is such an advocate and supporter of Mentoring, I decided it was time to look at forming a new Mentoring relationship myself. I was unsure who that would be until I read a particular book. 

I have admired someone who has been a global retail industry icon for many years. I have read their articles, listened to their podcasts, watched their TV appearances, and inhaled their books. Their candidness, honesty, and passion has always resonated with me deeply, and I have often found myself yelling "YES!" out to the world, agreeing with her views. So when I read one of her books that said we should all reach out and ask someone to be your sponsor (instead of using the word Mentor) as they would be thrilled to be asked, I saw this as a sign. I wanted her to be my Mentor. I mean sponsor. 

So I procrastinated for some time before I took my own advice and sent her a message. I decided the worst thing that could happen was that she didn't respond. And I waited, but I didn't have to wait for long. 

She responded! Yes, she did! She took the time and responded in such a thoughtful way. She was humble, kind, and thankful for my message. She made me feel so grateful to her when I read the words "love what you're doing ." She, unfortunately, couldn't Mentor me, and couldn't because of a reason that taught me so much. Her diary, she replied, is "exploding," and therefore needs to say no, which is her "self-care kicking in." 

I didn't think I could love Mary Portas more until I received her message. I admire her for taking the time to write to me. I admire her for saying no so thoughtfully. But most importantly, I admire her for putting herself first and saying no. While Mary can't Mentor me in person, I know I can learn from her as I have already. I can learn from her thoughtfulness in taking the time to respond. I can learn from her for always being honest and authentic. But more importantly, I can learn to say no when it doesn't suit me, just as she did. 

Thank you, Mary. Thank you for writing to me, and thank you for the lessons you don't even know you taught. While we will not spend time together, I know I can keep learning from you through your books and everything else you put out into the world.

As for Mentoring, and for reaching out to people, I am still a great advocate of both which is why I will continue to help others find the perfect mentor and am grateful for the fact that I have a number I can call on for myself.

Find out more about the voluntary mentoring program on the website The Retail Mentors .